


Simple

by GemNika



Series: 30 Drabbles [9]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, Parenting Humor, What are you even doing right now?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 11:28:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16428518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GemNika/pseuds/GemNika
Summary: Cobra loved his wife with everything he had, but this was something he wasn't sure how to handle.





	Simple

He loved his wife. He really and truly fucking loved her with every ounce of the crusty, maimed piece of muscle that was a heart. But the day that Cobra found her standing in a dark pantry, hunched over a box of Pocky, eating two at a time and nearly shoving them down her throat entirely, he questioned just why the hell he'd decided that marrying her was a good idea.

"Uh… Why are you-"

"Shut the fuck up," Lucy hissed around a mouthful of little biscuits covered in chocolate. "And go away."

"No, seriously. Why are you-"

She literally kicked him out of the pantry and shut the door. And while he stood on the other side, staring wide-eyed at the obstruction, he could still hear the soft crinkle of the packaging as she reached for more. "Lucy?"

"What."

Cobra cringed. "Just curious about the why thing."

She let out a heavy sigh and cracked the door before peeking out to glare at him. "When it's just me and Tanner," she said slowly, "If I don't eat snacks in here, he wants them. All of them."

"He eats your Pocky," Cobra nodded. He understood how much she loved it. Not even  _he_  was stupid enough to try and get it from her. "Our four-year-old son eats your Pocky, so you hide in the pantry and eat it like a fucking hobgoblin."

"Don't judge me," she muttered. He wasn't even surprised when he saw her hand slide out of the pantry just enough to shove two sticks in her mouth.

"And why are you in the dark?"

"If the light's on, he knows I'm in here."

"He's four."

"He's smart," she spat. Normally, Lucy loved that their son was smarter than most other kids his age. But right then? She sounded as though she was seriously considering taking a hammer to his precious little skull just so he wouldn't catch on so damn fast.

"So, you do this… a lot?" Cobra asked, looking around the spotless kitchen, then back to his wife.

"Once a week. I was busy earlier so I missed out on my Pocky-time. So, I'm making up for it now."

"In the pantry," he said again.

"Yes."

"In the  _dark_  pantry."

"Yes."

Cobra sighed softly and pried the door open the rest of the way. "Lucy, Tanner's in bed. He's been asleep for the last three hours. I think it's safe for you to just eat it in the living room."

"Nothing is safe," she whispered, her voice rasping and conspiratorial. He was pretty sure she'd lost the last fucking marble she had.

"What the fuck else do you eat in there?" he asked. Just because the door was open didn't mean she left the pantry. She stood in the same place, even shuffled back a step and away from the light, and pushed more food into her mouth.

"I ate a pulled pork sandwich yesterday for lunch in here."

"You… a whole sandwich… Why?"

"Because if I ate it  _out there_ ," she said slowly, "He wouldn't have eaten his vegetables. Also, I put chips on it."

"And he didn't hear the crunching?"

"They were soggy from the barbecue sauce."

Cobra blinked. "... What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I'm a mother. My life is no longer a simple matter of eating like a human being." She pushed more food into her mouth, glaring at him all the while. "I ate skittles off the floor this morning. I don't know how old they were, but I saw them and they had to be mine."

Slowly, Cobra nodded and carefully shut the door, leaving Lucy inside. In the dark. With her fucking Pocky. "I don't even know what to say to that," he muttered to himself, walking back to the living room and taking his seat on the couch once more.

_**.The End.** _

**Author's Note:**

> I am not ashamed to admit that I've done this… Not to this extent, but… the first part. Definitely.


End file.
